Semi-Pro

Directed by: Kent Alterman
Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin, Maura Tierney, Will Arnett, Andy Richter, David Koechner
Running Time: 1h 30min

Definitely not an Anchorman, nor a Ricky Bobby, and not even of Dodgeball quality or laughs, Semi-Pro is still a bit of 70s fun, basketball nostalgia, and profanity. And, of course, plenty of Will Ferrell in weird costumes doing insane things. i hope that one day Ferrell receives a lifetime achievement award, just so we can see the 3 minute film clip retrospective. Imagine the outrageous costumes and hilarious blow ups packed into those three minutes.

Unfortunately, these moments can't sustain an hour and a half, as this movie shows. There isn't as much Will Ferrell in this movie as the previews would like you to believe. He's in it about as much as he's in Old School, with only about a tenth the laughs. Which is still pretty funny, just not pee your pants funny. Still, there are plenty of Ferrell type moments, quick ad libs, over the top emotional reactions, and straight faced shenanigans to please most Ferrell fans.

What there is a lot of, which i didn't expect based on the trailer for the movie, is a lot of sports movie moments. This is truly more of a sports film than a comedy. The storyline pokes fun at the "this final game means the world to us and we have to pull it out against insurmountable odds" yet maintains an emotional core so you care enough about it all to stick with it to the end. Surprisingly, Harrelson is the centerpiece for the movie's emotinal punch, reminding us how adept he is at both comedy and drama (don't forget his performances in both Kingpin AND The People vs. Larry Flint). It's a shame that Harrelson's personal progressively environmental politics seemed to limit his roles in the past, as he is such a talented actor. Strangely, he doesn't garner many laughs in this film, leaving the comedic moments to Ferrell and friends.

There are quite a number of Ferrell's regular co-stars in this film, though most of them aren't as funny as they are in previous outings. It's a strange balance struck, between sports drama and sports parody, and it appears as though a little less improvisation was utilized in comparison to films that Ferrell penned himself. One can't expect a home run every time a Ferrell movie comes out, but it's nice to get our fix of Will until he comes through with one of his classics. Semi-Pro is more like one of the filler films they stick in a box set that contains one hit and a few misses. Good enough to justify the purchase, but not a selling point on its own.

Grade: B-

American Gangster

Directed by: Ridley Scott
Starring: Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Josh Brolin
Running Time: 2h 37min

An engaging and titillating gangster flick that tries whole heartedly to enshrine itself amongst the gangster elite, like Scarface, The Godfather, and more recently, Blow. Only time will tell whether or not it succeeds, but i'm betting on this true story of Frank Lucas to deservedly rest upon the same shelf as those gangster classics.

What's extremely interesting about American Gangster is that it really has two stories to tell. One is of the titular antihero, Frank Lucas, a self made millionaire from the late 60s, early 70s, who ran Harlem through his imported, potent brand of heroin. Washington plays him with some charisma, yet also much menace, delivering a scary yet dutifully controlled performance.

The other story centres itself around Crowe's cop character, a real boy scout who personifies what a good cop should be, even if he can't get his own life together for the sake of his family. For one, it's all about the job. For the other, it's about balancing family obligations and the business. For us, it's two and a half hours of dynamite entertainment.

Though there are no real highs or lows, or "you gotta see this" moments, director Ridley Scott has crafted a great gangster film, that doesn't take sides so much as it tries its best to present things as they were. Crowe and Washington give superb performances, making you wish they'd brought this to the decade old Virtuosity. The two share little screen time together, but much like Pacino and De Niro in Heat, their combined star power may have melted the screen if they weren't allowed to burn so brightly within their own scenes.

Thankfully, brother Ridley Scott hasn't succumbed to the stylistic tendencies of brother Tony, making this film seem like an honest to goodness throwback to the films of the era it is set in. French Connection and Serpico vibes are felt throughout, and it only adds to the grit and seediness of the film. It's almost unbelievable that this is based on a true story, as these two people seem like archetypes found only in the movies. No better pair of an antagonist and protagonist could a screenwriter dream up.

Scott has to be applauded for guiding these two story lines deftly, with little wasted energy or film. Had one side of the story been chosen to follow more closely, we would have been asking for more of the other side. Instead, it's perfectly balanced, never stoops to sensationalizing the violence or drugs, and keeps family and relationships at the centre of it all. American Gangster is a film that will be remembered for a long time.

Grade: B+

Gone Baby Gone

Directed by: Ben Affleck
Starring: Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Morgan Freeman, Ed Harris, John Ashton, Amy Ryan
Running Time: 1h 54min

From the person who brought you Gigli, Armageddon, and Pearl Harbour, comes a surprisingly good film, that has more emotional impact that those three aforementioned films combined.

Gone Baby Gone takes place in Affleck's hometown of Boston, and he allows the setting to breathe it's way into the film, situating the plot of a missing child in a neighbourhood that protects each other's secrets. Ben's younger brother Casey and Monaghan play young private investigators for hire, who try to assist the police in areas where police aren't welcome. This allows for some action sequences that remain suspenseful and tense, because you know the cops won't be barging in seconds later to save their bacon.

Casey's teenage boy appearance lends itself well to the character, as he is often misjudged or prejudged based on his innocence. He plays his role well, as he come across believable when he has to play tough, yet remains sensitive in his search for the young missing girl. Freeman and Harris continue to show why they are the best supporting actors money can buy, giving their characters every shade of grey needed to be full, rounded out characters, straight out of a novel.

Indeed, it is Gone Baby Gone's source material that really drives this film. From the same author that Mystic River was based on (one of Clint Eastwood's finer films), also set in Boston, Affleck has chosen wisely to adapt this for his directorial debut. It has a lot going for it, and all one can hope for is to not screw it up. It is a pleasant surprise to see how well Affleck captures the moral dilemma at the centre of the book, when he could very easily made a sensationalistic film about a missing child, necessitating chase scene after ransom call after parental meltdown.

Rather, Affleck turns up the emotional dial, allowing us to feel the characters' pain, angst, passion, fear and loneliness. Using Casey as the conduit, we are immersed in the story on a very personal, emotional level. One could argue that Affleck could not have made this film a few years ago, before he became a father. At this stage in his life, he truly understands the horrible crux which hovers over this film like a darkening seaside cloud. He pushes aside all the media portrayals of missing children, and gets to the heart of a parent's most horrendous fear, while asking us to ponder, is there something worse?

Dark, disturbing, yet never contrived, Gone Baby Gone is a stunningly good film, succeeding on several levels. A great cast giving their all for a new director, presenting a frighteningly perplexing story with a lot of love for the content and the setting. You will not be disappointed.

Grade: B+

The Darjeeling Limited

Directed by: Wes Anderson
Starring: Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Anjelica Huston
Running Time: 1h 31min

Anderson returns with yet another meticulously designed film, this time set in India, starring a few of his favourites, joined by Adrien Brody, who fits in well with Anderson's quirky cast and script.

Strange is not quite the word for Anderson's films, as they are immensely inviting and delightful to watch. There's just something un-Hollywood about them, without losing any of the production values. Rather, one could argue that there is a timeless quality to his films that surpass most Hollywood fare, as his directorial canvas is not merely splashed with Hollywood magic and glamour, but more hand crafted, ornate and detailed to a degree unheard of in the facade of Tinseltown.

Which is what Anderson does, and with The Darjeeling Limited, continues to do wonderfully. He pulls back the facade that families have and gets to the truth beneath it all. This film, focused on three brothers taking a spiritual journey through India to meet with their mother, who was absent at their father's funeral, is all about peeling back the layers and finding the peace beneath.

At first, the three brothers distrust each other, revealing little by little, their own personal problems, mostly centered on their own relationships, independently, as well as with each other. Wilson's character drives the film, hoping for this magical spiritual journey to heal them of their wounds. This manifests itself physically for Wilson, as his head is bandaged from a motorcycle accident. Brody perfects Anderson's familiar stone faced stare that populates many of his films, suggesting an inner confusion and fear of an inescapable impending future. Schwartzman's character gets a little more back story, through a short film preceding the movie, which allows us to connect with him a little quicker as the three travel by train through India.

Filled with metaphoric images and dialogue with double meaning, the film chugs along like an Orwellian short story, slowly developing the characters and their connection, while painting beautiful pictures of India with scenic shots and amusing happenings that undermine Wilson's quest for spiritual renewal. The film manages to deromanticise India, while evoking a wonder for the country and its gifts. It is almost uncertain what it is that these three hope to find, though it is a given that they will definitely be changed by their adventure.

Though not nearly as funny as Anderson's previous films, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, and Rushmore, The Darjeeling Limited includes much of the same style, with a mood setting soundtrack and a spectacular lens for the spiritual and emotional beauty of the locale. It tackles themes similar to his prior work, family bonding and forgiveness, yet it seems to have a greater philosophical air, buoyed by the mysticism we imbue the Eastern continents with. As with all of Anderson's work, you will be immersed in the journey, and equally captivated and perplexed by the outcome. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

Grade: A-

We Own the Night

Directed by: James Gray
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendes, Mark Wahlberg, Robert Duvall, Alex Veadov
Running Time: 1h 57min

We Own the Night is a rather traditional cop/crook drama, with a nice family twist to it all. Phoenix plays one of Duvall's sons, the prodigal one that got into the fast life of party scenes, drugs and nightclubs. He feels equally at home with the scene's elder statesmen and is as much a part of their family than he is his own. Wahlberg plays his brother, who follows their father's footsteps in the police department, making Phoenix's lifestyle seem like a blight on the family.

When the squeeze comes down on the nightclub revelers, it puts all family members in a compromisable position. Loyalties are questioned, tested and betrayed and well played by the cast. Phoenix and Wahlberg can play explosive with ease, but their ability to play tenderness as well makes this film rise above its obviousness. Mendes also gets to play more than eye candy, but is better at conveying deliciousness than seriousness. Duvall is his usual good self.

Another factor that puts this film above the regular cop fare is how the director plays with sound and perspective during the action scenes. The usual shootouts have stylistic flavour, opting for a realistic POV of one character over the typical gunfire. By blocking out sound or forcing the camera to take a disoriented perspective, it makes the action seem more real, which really ups the consequences and ramifications the violence has on the family at the centre of the action. Without this interesting directorial take and the solid acting, We Own the Night would be very run of the mill, a Goodfellas wannabe. However, it makes a place for itself in the cop genre and is worth a rental.

Grade: B-

No Reservations

Directed by: Scott Hicks
Starring: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson
Running Time: 1h 44min

A cute, culinary romance with two decent lead actors that have good chemistry. Zeta-Jones' uptight OCD chef has to learn to loosen up when an accident places her neice (Breslin) in her care and causes her boss (Clarkson) to hire a Sous-Chef (Eckhart) with a zest for life.

Like the entire romantic comedy genre, No Reservations is utterly predictable. However, Zeta-Jones is spicy enough to allow us to savour the taste of a familiar dish, and Eckhart continues to prove that he can take the most bland roles and put a twist on them that's equally enjoyable and believable. He is comfortable playing a supporting role to a complex woman, as he did exceptionally well in Erin Brockovich. It's a shame he isn't starring in more interesting films, not directed by Neil LaBute.

Like the summer of 2007's other culinary centred treat, Ratatouille, this film doesn't forget to feature the food, and does a good job presenting the kitchen as a combat zone, where time and technique can be the difference between success and disaster. It also reminds us that sometimes what fills us up is more delightful than what others may think looks good to us. Even though all the ingredients to a romantic comedy remain the same in this film, there's something about the way they're mixed that makes it go down easy.

Grade: C+

Across the Universe

Directed by: Julie Taymor
Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, Martin Luther, Joe Cocker, Bono, Eddie Izzard, Salma Hayek
Running Time: 2h 11min

Faith had me holding out that this would turn into something more than a mix mash of Beatles music videos, slowed down to excruciating speed and bled of all warmth and harmony. Instead, the story continues to unravel into splintering ideas and concepts, destroying any hope for any unifying story, while butchering one Lennon-McCartney classic after another.

Granted, there are some interesting visuals, and some nice takes on the Fab Four's catalogue, yet none of the revisions come close to the originals, ruining any effect the interesting set design and production could have brought to the source material. It would have been better if the original recordings could have been used, so not to distract from Taymor's attempt to visualize some of pop's most beloved compositions. Still, the tunes are so great, you'd expect that you couldn't go wrong, yet Taymor and company continue to prove that they can and will destroy such treasures.

Even Bono, probably as big as the Beatles in this day and age, manages to screw up his rendition of "I Am the Walrus", inviting comparisons of Across the Universe to the equally horrible Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band film staring various rockers from the seventies. The only saving grace for Across the Universe is Taymor's set pieces that harken back to her theatrical stage production days, when the film tries less to be a dramatic narrative/faux documentary and embraces a more musical design in spirit, visual choreography, and outlandish lighting and costumes. In these moments, the film reaches for high art, but it all comes crashing down like the final chord of "A Day in the Life", once the actors try singing like they are reading a script, and the tempo is slowed to a crawl. There are too many misses than hits to recommend this to anyone, Beatles fan or someone new to the material.

Grade: D+

Juno

Directed by: Jason Reitman
Starring: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, J.K. Simmons, Rainn Wilson
Running Time: 1h 36min

Every year a film gets labelled as the little indie that could. Often these films are good, less than often they're great, and more than likely, they're over hyped. Past entries holding this title include The Blair Witch Project, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and last year's Little Miss Sunshine. You can determine if these films lived up to all their accolades.

This year's critical fave that's finding audiences is Juno. Quirky, as all teen indies seem to be. Fresh, in approach and candor. Witty, in dialogue and character. Juno is a sparkling achievement on many levels. Let's examine the elements that are getting the most attention.

Ellen Page, in the lead role, has garnered many nominations and much praise, all of it well deserved. She inhabits the pregnant teen with all the emotions and reactions you'd expect from a child thrust into a decision way beyond her years. Yet, unlike we've come to expect from teens in movies, Page's turn as Juno is well rounded, played for laughs, tears, anger and pity. She offers us the sarcasm, cynicism, fear, angst, sadness, and joy that would certainly arise from her situation. Stunningly, she shifts through these emotions effortlessly and authentically. The statement could be made, without Page there is no Juno.

Still, much of what makes Juno work so well is the script. Diablo Cody is being hailed as the new voice of women in film. She infuses the movie of the week plot line with a blend of hip teen speak that seems so now, in danger of being outdated tomorrow, yet set into scenes that seem timeless. Frankly, the movie could have quickly derailed from the opening Napoleon Dynamite credits, as the first 10 minutes scream, "I'm quirky! I'm hip! I'm edgy! I'm now! Listen to the way I speak! So catchphrasy and cool! I'm this year's Napoleon Dynamite!". I had already felt duped into seeing this year's overrated phenom.

Then something slowly transpires. The flashy hipness gives way to honesty and an inescapable sense that this story could almost take place anywhere (and is probably happening right now as you read this.) The deft cast bring a range that allows the film to go beyond teen melodrama. Bateman, Garner, Simmons, and Janney are all fantastic in supporting roles, fleshing out their characters in a way that makes us believe these adults have lives beyond their interaction with the lead teen. They ground the teen world and offer an interesting contrast and speculation about maturity and decision making.

Yet all this fabulous work owes it's grand success to the direction of Reitman. In less nuanced hands, this film could have gone too far in one direction. It could have ignored the enormity of the central dilemma to keep it light hearted and funny. It could have missed the humour in the adult relationships in order to keep them as fixtures of oddity in the gaze of the teens. Sure, there are some great lines and a wonderful tone, but by Reitman's direction, none of the script's pleasures are missed, while so much is added through a filmed reaction or a lingering close up, conveying so much without the strength of Cody's words. He takes a solid film, and brings it to a new level, crafting a film that's sure to be remembered, long after the indie engine push has passed.

Grade: A

Mr. Brooks

Directed by: Bruce A. Evans

Starring:Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Dane Cook, William Hurt, Marg Helgenberger, Danielle Panabaker

Running Time:  2h 00min

Best Kevin Costner movie ever.

Grade:  B+

Shoot 'em Up

Directed by: Michael Davis
Starring: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci, Stephen McHattie, Julian Richings
Running Time: 1h 26min

Best. Movie. Ever.

Grade: A

Balls of Fury

Directed by: Robert Ben Garant
Starring: Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q, James Hong, Robert Patrick, Diedrich Bader, Aisha Tyler, Jason Scott Lee
Running Time: 1h 30min

Best movie about ping pong to the death, ever.

Grade: B+

Once

Directed by: John Carney
Starring: Glen Hansard, Markéta Irglová, Bill Hodnett, Danuse Ktrestova
Running Time: 1h 25min

Once is one of those rare cinematic gems that gains so much more from its modest budget, giving the viewer a visceral experience, as though we are watching two real strangers meet and make musical magic. By paring down the gloss that comes with slick Hollywood production, we get an emotionally sparkling romance that hits all the right notes.

Hansard and Irglova are professional musicians, not actors, and you wouldn't notice. The director's decision to cast them pays off fantastically, because the minute these two connect through their music, we're hooked. The sincerity in their voices, the expression in their playing speaks better than most actors do with words. Carney wisely situates the camera during the most powerful songs, and lets the music do the talking. I dare anyone to watch this film and not find themselves humming the tunes immediately after, not to mention a few weeks later.

This film stays with you because it is so beautifully pure and honest. The way these two meet, grow to know and love one another and delve deeper into each other's hearts and souls is so charmingly played out. Their characters are so convincingly real, supported by their family and kind of lost at the moment they meet, that the healing that's done fills our hearts as well. For those of you that are scared off by the terms i've used, there are plenty of laughs, and admitedly, some songs do drag, but you will be captivated and compelled to see this to the end, as there's enough air of mystery and realism that never leaves you certain until the end. Stick with it and you will be forever grateful for the treasure that this film is. Truly one of a kind.

Grade: A-

The Best and Worst Films of 2007

It’s been a long, loooooooong time coming, but here it is. The Top 10 films of 2007 that I, Joe James, saw in a theatre or on new release DVD (and that means within a month of its release, not the Blockbuster style of year old “new” release). 2007 was a busy year for me and movie watching. I could barely keep up with the blog (hey—a year wait ain’t so bad—at least everything is on DVD by now for you to see, if not on regular TV). I saw a total of 61 movies, with over half of those at the theatre. Some I barely reviewed, and others I ranted and/or raved about as best as I could given the time constraints.

Due to the time consuming aspect of these reviews, and the fact that barely anyone I know even reads the blog, let alone lends their own comments or detractions, this should be my last ever Top Ten list I send out (except for the 2008 list, which may or may not arrive in the next couple of weeks). It’s been a gas (literally—believe me, some of these movies stunk so bad I could smell it). I was hoping it’d be a nice forum to debate and applaud some of the films we see and love, and a way to cut through some of the ridiculousness (read: B.S.) of so-called critics’ faves and mass marketed studio garbage. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

The Top 10 films of 2007 are...

10. Enchanted

Though not actually given an “A” grade in my initial review, this movie has a certain goofiness and spoofy quality that surprisingly came out of the Mouse House at Disney. Finally putting a few of their age-old princess stereotypes through the ringer, the movie is fun for both kids and adults. I should know, I’ve probably seen it over 20 times on account of my own princess. Alas, by the end of the film, despite turning several Disney conventions on their head, it still boldly assumes that all little girls want to be princesses and they can, if they just purchase more Disney product. Don’t resist. Resistance is futile.

9. The Simpsons Movie

How do years and years of waiting and hype, and increased expectations result in a film that actually lives up to its audience’s hopes? It’s a bloody miracle that The Simpsons Movie was every bit as funny as the series (though not as funny as the funniest episodes), every bit as cinematic as a full length feature should be (not feeling like three episodes strung together, but a fully fleshed out adventure), AND visually appealing off our small screens and onto the big one!!! By delivering on this film, while continuing to make the series for television, The Simpsons creators deserve their own award, in their honour. Here’s to the creation of The Homer, cast in gold and worth its weight! Eat another doughnut, you deserve it.

8. Superbad

I feel guilty enjoying this movie. And isn’t that the point of this silly list? To proclaim movies that I will watch over and over again (Undercover Brother, Elf) as the undeniable best of the year, rather than those pompous, good for you movies that earn accolades but collect dust in our DVD cabinets (insert former Best Picture Oscar winner here). I felt guilty the first time I saw this, sitting outside the car at the drive-in, laughing my head off as my wife sat in the car with our daughter, sound turned off, surprised by the insistent use of obscenities in the early film of the double feature. I still feel guilty watching it over and over on TMN while my daughter sleeps upstairs to the sounds of teenage bromantic lunacy. But do I turn it off? Never.

7. Pan’s Labyrinth

Forget what I just said about movies that earn accolades but collect dust. Pan’s Labyrinth deserved every award it won and was nominated for in 2007, but the reason it collects dust on my bookshelf, is that it was so powerful and emotionally disturbing that it’s actually quite difficult to watch again. Kind of like Schindler’s List, in that regard, a marvel of filmmaking and ingenious storytelling, the film’s content just makes it hard to revisit. But whenever I get a glimpse of the visuals or a sound from the score, it makes me want to return to Pan’s land. If you haven’t gone here once, be sure you do, as it will be a visit you’re unlikely to forget.

6. The Bourne Ultimatum

This entire series has been an awesome throwback to classic spy and cop films of the seventies, with amazing stunt work, exotic on-location shoots, and thrilling chase scenes without any CGI. The third installment really hammers these pleasantries home, as it has perhaps the best chases and fights of the three, though the story is a little less intriguing. Matt Damon is still quite believable and deadly, but the camera work and staging really make the breakneck pace that sets our hearts on overdrive. I recommend the whole series, but if you can only watch one, there really isn’t one clear choice.

5. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
This is one of those films that divide us into two camps: Love it or Hate it. For someone who loves it, Borat is politically subversive, culturally revealing, and gut busting hilarious. For those that hate it, it may seem childish, inappropriate, and irritatingly stupid. Which, for those that love it, is all the more reason to love it. I don’t think there is another film that had me laughing out loud, so hard, so often. I still get a smile on my “vanilla face” (or would that be cinnamon?) when I hear someone imitate “Very Nice.” Even the cheese scene went from not so funny, to irritatingly stupid, to unbelievably hilarious over the span of so many “What’s this?” that when my daughter began asking in her own Borat manner, it brought tears of laughter and joy, not sorrow. Not so much.

4. Snow Cake

A DVD discovery for me, this is one of those hidden gems that may not truly be one of the BEST of the year, as much as it is one of the best finds of the year. Powerful performances, yet subtle in their emotional honesty (we’re not talking about Pacino shouting matches) Rickman and Weaver prove why they continue to be at the top of their game. Canadian in location shooting (I’m sure) with a few Canadian “superstars” of acting, perhaps this is why the film so quietly flew under the radar. Once I discovered it and took a chance on this very human tale, I was thoroughly rewarded. Try it once you’ve exhausted the Hollywood Blockbuster selections and you’ll see why we love movies and why actors choose to act in the first place.

3. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

Have you ever smelt a film? And I’m not talking about John Waters’ Polyester (though with 3-D films coming back big, there’s no doubt an Odorama attempt may return). Perfume is one of those rare occurrences in film that’s truly worth celebrating. A film where another sense is involved and enveloped as the story unfolds. Centered around a main character whose sense of smell is integral to the plot, director Tom Tykwer pays equal attention to not only how the shot looks, feels and sounds, but how those senses can create an acute sense of smell in the viewer. If you don’t believe me, watch it for yourself. The scents come alive like never before through the use of visual suggestion and audio presentation. Often cited as Kurt Cobain’s favourite novel (and basis for the song “Scentless Apprentice”) earlier attempts by several noted directors were left abandoned, as esteemed talents including the great Stanley Kubrick deemed the novel “unfilmable”. Ironic, considering he himself filmed the previously believed to be “unfilmable” Lolita. Tykwer proves that a keen attention to visual smell could indeed bring this text to life and create a film that is sure to become a cinematic reference point of extremely ingenious storytelling for years to come.

2. Hot Fuzz

The first time I saw this, I was at the drive-in, we’d watched a film or two (or three—some drive-in nights are marathon stretches) and it was one of the only times it began to pour rain. Yet, despite the sleepiness and the downpour, we stuck with it to the end. It wasn’t until repeated viewings on TMN, that I came to recognize its genius. This is parody at its best. Mocking and simulating the Michael Bay style of over-the-top, over edited, over exploding action genre with equal parts love and admiration, shame and silliness, the creators of Shaun of the Dead do for buddy cop action films that Shaun did with the zombie genre. I’ve stated before, spoofs like Epic Movie and Date Movie, etc., etc. aren’t truly spoofs. They are simply replays of film moments done with lesser actors and potty humour. Hot Fuzz is a film that restores parody film making to its pinnacle, creating a believable (somewhat) action film, that accurately imitates the style it’s so cleverly mocking as ridiculous. The premise is hilarious, off-beat, and goofy, all the while presenting it as the most awe-inspiring action adventure of the century!!! Die Hard in a small town!! Watch it, then watch it again. “For the greater good!”

And the number one film that I saw in 2007 is…

1. Ratatouille

There is something truly magical about this film that has been lost on dozens and dozens of so called family animated films in recent years. Call it the Shrekenization of animation, if you will. Every new family film seems to need to be tongue in cheek, pop culture referencing, sing-a-long extravaganzas. Not Ratatouille. Pixar tosses all that aside like the stale fare that it is, and serves up a remarkably fresh, invigorating and totally original film filled with life, adventure, and stunning beauty. It’s amazing that the Mouse House (by way of Pixar) finally manages to create an original story worthy of classic Disney material of yesteryear, if not better. Even more amazing, they actually went with a completely unmarketable title (which probably actually lowered grosses to some degree—don’t let it fool you) and lead characters that aren’t the least bit toy and merchandise friendly (as much as I love this film, I had to laugh at the Ratatouille stock collecting dust and discount stickers at the Disney store—perhaps a cameo in the next Toy Story sequel will be forthcoming).

Ratatouille succeeds in the same manner as the number three film, Perfume. Except, on top of being able to smell this film, you can almost taste how good the film is. The animation is exciting, vibrant, and kinetic, while the story is swift, sweet and succulent. Foregoing an “all-star cast” (yet another Shrekenization of the genre) for more secretly spot on voice work (I never knew Garofalo, Arnett, Holm, and O’Toole, not to mention Garrett, were even the voice talent until the end credits, they were so welcomingly unrecognizable), the film allows you to immerse yourself in the culinary delights and craziness of the kitchen, and transport you to Paris and a little Rat’s dream of beating the odds and the critics. Well, Remy the Rat had this critic at Bonjour.

Honourable mentions (good films that didn’t make the cut): The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, The Illusionist, Blades of Glory, The Devil Wears Prada, Flushed Away, and some guilty pleasures that may not be your cup of tea, Hot Rod, Grindhouse, Hairspray, and 3:10 to Yuma.

Now, to save you some time, money, and shame,

The Top 5 Worst Films of 2007…

5. Bee Movie

Forget movies that were supposed to suck. Believe me, there were films worse than this. In fact, the more I see ads for this film, the more I’m willing to give it another chance. But for years and years, Seinfeld has been dallying around with a follow up to his sitcom about nothing. And this is what we get? The unhilarious, the so not funny, the so what’s the deal with that joke feeling I got from this film really left a bad taste in my mouth and had me wondering just how much of Seinfeld’s humour came from the dry hand of Larry David and how little came from Jerry’s mind and mouth. After all is said and done, I would rather have had nothing.

4. You, Me, and Dupree

Sold as a laugh a minute farce, this actually becomes painful to watch, especially in light of the news that came after and during the production, of Hudson and Wilson’s philandering and Wilson’s suicide attempt. I think a making of documentary would have been more interesting. Poor Matt Dillon had to take a detour from a nice career renaissance and it wasn’t even his fault this film falls so flat. What promise Hudson once showed in her early career roles has since faded, and yet like her movie star parents, her career will somehow survive until she’s 80 and stars in You, Me, and McCain.

3. Movies with “3” in the title, a.k.a. “threequels”

This includes but is not limited to, Shrek the Third, Rush Hour 3, Spider Man 3, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Those last two aside (they weren’t so much bad films, but just not worthy of the originals) the need to repeat formulas for repeat cash got so bloody obvious that you didn’t need to actually go to see the films to know what would happen. I mean, honestly, were there any surprise moments in any of these threequels, let alone the fourth installment of Die Hard, and while we are at it, the fifth Harry Potter film? I have to admit, the parade of sequels has actually raised the standards somewhat compared to sequels past, but I would much rather prefer a fresh idea that fails to some degree than a formula that pales in comparison. Don’t get me wrong, Live Free or Die Hard was fun, and the 5th Potter maintained the series’ worth as we head into three more, but sometimes too much of a good thing is not so much a good thing. Here’s to new ideas in the future.

2. Movies with “Chuck” in the title

This points directly at I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, along with Good Luck Chuck. My apologies to any good films that came out in 2007 with lead characters named Chuck. The brazen attempts to get a laugh in these two films made me want to upchuck. See. I bet you saw that lame ass joke coming from a mile away. Well, not to disappoint, these two “comedies” actually did not come across telegraphed in a bid for cheap laughs. No, instead, these two films went places you’d never expect to not only forego any attempt at being actually funny; they went into territory that made them morally offensive, and not in a good, George Carlin (R.I.P.) way either. You can make films that are funny, offensive, and sexually mature (see Knocked Up). You can even make Jessica Alba seem funny (see Fantastic Four). But stooping to the levels these films went for laughs that weren’t there??? I Now Pronounce You Dumb and Dumber.

And the worst film of 2007 is…

1. The Death of Mr. Lazaresco

What’s that? You never heard of it? You don’t even know what it’s about? Consider yourself lucky. I wouldn’t have known about it either if I didn’t read stupid year-end Top 10 lists. This one was in several critics’ lists. Apparently, the laugh is on me. I’d love to know what they were smoking when they saw this one and found it funny. It’s not even sad, or clever, or darkly comic (as most claimed it was). In fact, it’s just plain dull and boring. And the fact that I had to do a little more work reading the subtitles made it even worse, because I could have spent that time reading something funnier, like Ziggy. Yes, even the cartoon Ziggy is funnier than this film. Here’s the premise in case you’re one of those people that have to see for themselves. A man, named Mr. Lazaresco is dying. He gets picked up by an ambulance (after about an hour of being in his apartment with random neighbours that speak about mundane things) then goes from hospital to hospital seeking the care that he needs. Then he dies. It may be funny if it didn’t have a hint of truth to it. Then, in that case, maybe it is darkly funny, but not enough so that I need to watch it. I just need to hear that premise and say, “Oh, that’s sadly funny.” SO there, now you know. Save yourself the time, the money, and the miserable experience. I think critics recommend films like these just so they can get the laugh of pulling a fast one on the unsuspecting viewers who follow their suggestions.

Dishonourable mentions (stay away at all costs): The Black Dahlia, The Good Shephard (so bad I actually forgot how bad it was, hence, not on the list), Shrek the Third, Transformers, The Ex, and War.

So there you have it. My long awaited top 10 list. I hope it was worth it, if you read to the end. The fact that it took a year in the making should prove that I’m not pulling a fast one on you. Hopefully 2008’s list will make it to you sooner, rather than later.

Enchanted

Directed by: Kevin Lima
Starring: Amy Adams, James Marsden, Susan Sarandon, Patrick Dempsey, Timothy Spall, Rachel Covey, Julie Andrews
Running Time: 1h 47min

Disney finally manages to make fun of itself in this twisted fairy tale that owes some of its material to Shrek, not to mention the older French film that was remade into an English language version, Just Visiting. Yet it is refreshing to see the Mouse House poke fun at some of its history, the repeated storyline of Prince rescues the Princess mythology and all that comes with it. Or so it would seem. In the end, Enchanted reinforces modern ideologies, encouraging little girls to dress like princesses, connect with their mothers through consumption, and keep searching for their true love, Prince Charming. That's not to say that there's a little fun along the way.

Adams gives an excellent performance as a maiden who finds herself plucked (or rather, pushed) into New York city, with her fairy tale mentality intact. This plays havoc with Dempsey and his daughter, who act as good sammaritans found only in the movies. Adams plays princess so well, ditzy but not dislikable, sweet but not syrupy, and not your typically stunning beauty, but gorgeous nonetheless. Her songs are hilarious and she does a wonderful spin on typical Disney musical numbers, playing it straight amongst the silliness, like Leslie Nielson in Airplane!

It's in these moments that the film takes off, mocking all the ridiculous Disney past and present. Dempsey plays a great foil to it all, reminding us of his great comedic timing, as he has the hard task of realistically responding to this displaced fairy tale damsel. Their chemistry works, ensuring the film's success. Equally important is Marsden's clueless Prince, a character that could easily have been one note, but is hilarious and suave and adds complexity to the emerging love triangle. He gets some of the best laughs in limited screen time.

All of this is enjoyable and played out wonderfully, milking laughs for just the right amount, and mocking the Princess theme while playing within its trappings. Unfortunately, the third act can't sustain the promise of the first, and the return to traditional fairy tale endings is somewhat disappointing. i still find it quite appalling how commercialism and consumption replaces a young girl's dreams of a boy charming, as if to say that "Girls, you don't need men when you can spend, spend, spend!" If this is what feminism and women's lib have brought us, we're no better off, and i'd take an old fashioned fairy tale romance anyday. However, apart from this ideological gaffe, Enchanted is a ton of fun for everyone in the family.

Grade: B+

The Bourne Ultimatum

Directed by: Paul Greengrass
Starring: Matt Damon, David Strathairn, Joan Allen, Julia Stiles, Albert Finney
Running Time: 1h 55min

Jason Bourne's third outing, The Bourne Ultimatum was much anticipated, and faithfully delivered. After rebooting the spy genre with 2002's The Bourne Identity, then abandoning major time chewing back story and love plot lines for more immediate action and adventure for the sequel, The Bourne Supremacy, the third film gives us more of the same, intense cat and mouse chases, powerful in close fight scenes, and kinetic dialogue between breath stopping moments. It's quite the achievement for a franchise to finish out its third film and leave us wanting more. It's more of an accomplishment to put three films together, that stand alone on their own, while also opening the debate as to which is the greater film.

The vision started with Doug Liman, who helmed the first film and then took a producing role for the franchise. Incoming director, Greengrass has stripped the film's original elements bare, using hand held style camera and amazingly quick pacing to situate the viewer in the desperate dilemma that is Bourne's existence. Greengrass's style is well suited in exotic locations, unfamiliar and uninviting, where Bourne can trust no one. The paranoia is ratcheted up a notch for the film's opening sequence, and we're immediately hooked from then on.

From there we follow the only lead (perhaps the most easily exposed flaw of the series--the next lead is too easily deciphered and chased, an action movie conceit that we can appreciate by way of picking up the pace despite all realistic intentions) to the next location. With each new locale, Greengrass infuses the frame with intensity, setting up the next great chase, fight or showdown. Damon's acting prowess convincingly enhances the chases, the cleverness, and the killing, giving emotional weight to a genre that has traditionally been filled with brain dead and emotionally vacant beefcakes.

The Bourne Ultimatum nicely wraps up the series, putting everything (and everyone) on the line. The spy genre has its cliches, but this franchise manages to side step them to success. Sure there's dirty operatives and double crosses, and a Central Intelligence Agency that isn't the most intelligent. Yet on the other hand, you have a lead character who is more creative and resourceful (and more deadly) than MacGyver, and as skilled as Jackie Chan in close combat (without any of the humour). The film moves with as much excitement and suspense as the chase sequence from The French Connection, only for two hours duration. Sit back, strap in, and enjoy!

Grade: A-

The Golden Compass

Directed by: Chris Weitz
Starring: Dakota Blue Richards, Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Freddie Highmore, Ian McKellen, Eva Green, Sam Elliott, Christopher Lee, Kristin Scott Thomas, Kathy Bates
Running Time: 1h 53min

Fantasy films (and novels) promise so much, but unless you can get deep within them, they can give you so little. The genre's trappings and formulaic unfolding require that there be something emotionally or philosophically different to set it above other examples of the genre. Philup Pullman's trilogy certainly has these in spades. Unfortunately, the novel's driving forces are lost in this adaptation.

Strangely, however, The Golden Compass' casting and production/design is spot on when it comes to the book's vision. The sets conjure up the same surroundings, and the all-star cast hits the right notes when it comes to the tone of each character. In fact, the casting couldn't be better, as each actor, on screen or just as a voice, nail the characters' demeanor and presence from the novel. Dakota Blue Richards is particularly good, embodying the lead character Lyra's sense of mischief, charm, and cunning wit. Adult leads Kidman and Craig do just as well, fully fleshing out their supporting roles, doing plenty of subterfuge with merely a glance, an eyebrow, or a whisper. They place their characters exactly where they need to be in order to keep the audience guessing.

Despite all that the film adaptation gets right, there's too much left out and done wrong. First off, the restructuring of the novel to make for a more fluid film, with key spectacles more perfectly placed, actually results in a film that struggles with pace. Unlike the novel, which builds suspense, intrigue, and emotional weight by the way it slowly builds, this restructuring never allows the film to build any momentum, all the while stripping the high octane action scenes of any emotional intensity or grand scope. Even something as simple as the majestic power of the Aurora Borealis, and all that can possibly exist within it's awesome beauty, is barely glimpsed in the film.

It seems as though the studio was so desperate for the next fantasy franchise, that they forgot what made the books special in the first place. By focusing on the elements of what makes a fantasy fit the genre, they forgot to include everything that makes "His Dark Materials" stand out; a fantasy that offers the best of children's literature, while pondering the essence of us all, and the question of free will. It's a shame the studio aimed so low.

Grade: B-

Sicko

Directed by: Michael Moore
Starring: Documentary (no "name" actors)
Running Time: 2h 03min

Michael Moore's run of success in the documentary field was unprecedented, so it came as no surprise that his latest outing, Sicko, did not drum up the same box office, nor critical acclaim as its predecessors. What is ironic, is that it is perhaps the most important film he's made concerning the woes and inadequacies of his homeland.

Fresh off the success of the Bush bashing Fahrenheit 9/11, and the previous gun society questioning Bowling for Columbine, Moore sets his sights on the profit pushing insurance providers in a pay per patient health care system. You would think that he's settled on a villain we can all agree on, avoiding the divisive responses he's had in the past. Yet by doing so, he creates a documentary that is devoid of the humour, the fun, and the sauciness that has become a hallmark of his work. Sicko is too dire, depressing, and despite his best attempts, distant for us. It just doesn't seem to have the relevance or timeliness of his other films. A backwards health care system in what is supposed to be the leading country of the civilized world is not news to us. It's just sad and unfortunate, which is the feeling this documentary leaves us with.

Moore is much better when he's using irony and humour to prove a point. His attempt in this film is to bring 9/11 volunteers to Cuba to get the treatment they can't seem to get, at least at an affordable price, in the country they were volunteering to defend. However, the sick people that are interviewed, escorted, and interrogated, feel like they aren't in on Moore's joke. Even worse, they come across as convenient puppets for Moore, as his questioning, dramatic pauses, and hovering camera framing position them too much as helpless victims, when in fact, Moore's promise has always been offering a voice for the little, working class guy.

Still, the subject matter is interesting, if not well worn. The highlights have to be Moore's comparison of other countries' health care systems. Just the disbelief on the faces of people abroad is priceless; how they cannot comprehend a health system that denies procedures or pharmaceuticals for those that need them, at reasonable rates, if at any cost at all. If Moore could channel that nonchalant disbelief, instead of a heavy handed sorrow, Sicko would be easier to swallow.

Grade: B

Trust the Man

Directed by: Bart Freundlich
Starring: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Billy Crudup, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Eva Mendes
Running Time: 1h 43min

Adult comedies that work don't come around that often. And when they do, they're often so profanity laden and raunchy, that they earn their R rating, and as a result, the laughter ensues from the shock and taboo release we find in them.
Rarely are they funny in a mature, complex, and honest manner, filled with characters that are three dimensional and realistically flawed.

Trust the Man is a gem, in that it is a rare cinematic achievement, that takes enough risks that could go wrong, but is so well cast that everything goes right. Immediately, each actor reveals enough depth and humanity, that it is easy to fall into the world in which they live, as we watch a number of couples struggle with their fidelity, relationships, and self-worth. After watching a few scenes of Duchovny, Moore, Crudup and Gyllenhaal trading lines and looks, you can't help but wish this were a weekly series so you could tune in and enjoy their insanity week in and week out.

Hollywood has given us so many stock romances with typical character and story arcs, that while watching this film, you're expecting it to go in certain directions, but it never fully turns out as expected. Sure, the basic premise might go in the obvious direction, but never without a stylistic twist, or an odd humerous angle. The leading four, plus Mendes as a supporting character, truly embody a wonderful place where comedy and drama show no boundaries, as all five are equally adept at both worlds. Their skill at both aspects peppers each scene with a tone unlike most films.

There are some bizarrely funny moments, and scenes written completely for the gag. Yet there are just as many scenes that punctuate the difficulties couples have growing together, whether its growing apart, growing old, or growing in spite of the other. The swinging emotional ride takes a little getting used to, but once you realize that this is not going to be a typical film, that follows its characters more than it leads them, then you are in for a refreshing, fun, unique bit of dramedy.

Filled with many laugh out loud moments, some tragic heartbreak, and some smart, reflective dialogue, Trust the Man is a great writing and directing effort that gets the most from its talented cast. Definitely worth the time spent, and hopefully we will see these thespians involved in future projects together, quite possibly with the same writer.

Grade: B+

Bee Movie

Directed by: Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith
Starring: Jerry Seinfeld, Renée Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Barry Levinson, Larry King, Ray Liotta, Sting, Oprah Winfrey
Running Time: 1h 30min

It's sad to think, that in the years since Seinfeld's self titled sitcom has been off the air, that all he has been able to muster is this mediocre film populated with stock jokes, tired cinematic conventions, and lazy one liners. Considering he was the star of such a consistently funny, cleverly paced, and tightly woven series, that provided fresh laughs and continues to be the hallmark of situation comedies, Seinfeld's first foray into film is a disastrous flop.

The premise sounds like great comedic fodder, the workman like bee hive, with all its natural wonder and colony code of conduct. It seems perfectly matched with Seinfeld's stand up style, of pointing out life's oddities and silly social structures and situations. Yet all Bee Movie offers are the run of the mill punny honey jokes that you can see from a mile away. Even the lousiest Seinfeld episode has more laugh out loud moments than this film. Even jokes aimed at the preschool crowd fall flat, so that no matter what age you are, this film fails to offer any laughs.

Lack of laughs aside, there really isn't any insightful or meaningful moments which are often peppered into animated children's films. The human-bee relationships seem awkward and borderline crazy, and the premise of bees talking and humans listening is too easily glazed over, when it could be a goldmine for humour, allegory, or moralizing. Instead, we're left with the message that capitalists have been trying to subversively instill in workers for centuries; accept your lot, because you never know what disaster could strike if you choose to rebel against your meaningless McJob.

Perhaps the only bright spots in this film can be credited to the supporting cast, who do some great voice work in their roles. Zellweger, Broderick, Warburton and Rock all get a lot of millage out of their roles, showing some real skill and style with their line delivery. Their screen time makes you wish their characters were more developed and more integral to the film's plot.

The bottom line however, is that a good animated film rests on strong voice work, a clever story line that's suitable for both kids and adults, and finally, but most importantly, great animation. Bee Movie strikes out on all three fronts. Seinfeld can't carry the film on his own, as his whiny voice does little to inspire the audience to rally behind the hero. The plot skips and jumps its way along, in search of meaning while forgetting any semblance of coherency. Sadly, the animation is uninspired, with only the moments of bumblebees in flight providing any visual excitement. Robots did a much better job utilizing the geometric designs into the world inhabited by its characters, and both Antz and A Bug's Life, not to mention Toy Story and Finding Nemo, painted much more lush, extravagant backdrops for it's tiny creatures living amongst humans.

Bee Movie is a huge disappointment, as a comedy, as a kid's flick, and as an animated adventure. It doesn't even rate a "B", but due to some interesting scenes, a few clever cameos, and some decent supporting work, it isn't a complete failure. Let's just hope it doesn't warrant a sequel.

Grade: C-

Good Luck Chuck

Directed by: Mark Helfrich
Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Alba, Dan Fogler, Lonny Ross
Running Time: 1h 36min

There are four reasons to see this film. Jessica Alba.

Grade: D+

3:10 to Yuma

Directed by: James Mangold
Starring: Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Logan Lerman, Ben Foster, Peter Fonda
Running Time: 1h 57min

I continue to state that I am not a fan of westerns. Yet every couple of years I'm forced to admit that the film I accidentally stumbled upon, or was forced to watch, is indeed a great film, filled with great acting and locations, and is indeed a western. In this category go the films Unforgiven, Shane, Tombstone and now, 3:10 to Yuma.

Great acting can elevate any film, and this film benefits immensely from the contrasting forces of a soft spoken, do right father figure played by Bale, and his counterpart, the tough talking, bad boy played by Crowe. Both actors infuse their characters with enough menace and sentimentality, that it is hard to convincingly root for either of them. Though Bale's honesty and integrity weigh out above Crowe's character's cold bloodedness, there's still enough charm and charisma in Crowe for us, and more complexly, Bale's teenage son, to enjoy his company.

The story builds slowly enough, yet moves at a pace that keeps the viewer intrigued. The ending really is any one's guess, as you can see these locomotives headed for a collision, and it's really up in the air if good will triumph over evil. The uncertainty arises out of a series of dialogues between the two leads, which set up an unnerving third act. You can see these two diametrically opposed individuals, slowly rubbing off on each other, yet staying steadfast to who they are at their cores. Cutaway scenes to Crowe's crazy crew help to fuel the fire fight that is the culminating sequence, placing insurmountable odds in front of our hero.

3:10 to Yuma has received some excellent reviews, all very deserving. Don't be surprised if it finds its way on some year end best lists, as it executes the genre to perfection. So, i humbly admit, westerns, when done to perfection, can be some of the best films around.

Grade: B+

Hairspray

Directed by: Adam Shankman
Starring: Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Amanda Bynes, James Marsden, Queen Latifah, Zac Efron, Elijah Kelley
Running Time: 1h 57min

John Water's original B-movie of the same name, which then spawned a surprise Broadway hit musical, which then spawned this A-list cast film, was a sweet treat of Baltimore 50s nostaligia, packed with a powerful message. The heart of the movie was the fight against racism, with the window dressing of smooth dances and smoother hairstyles.

This update shifts that focus from fighting racism, to an increased emphasis on the dance numbers, seeing as its more an adaptation of the stage show than a remake of the original source material. This results in some positives and negatives. The negative being a movie that pushes the plot aside at times, so the kids can just dance and sing. The positives are that the dance numbers really do pop and sizzle, in a way the original film hinted at, but never had the production dollars to put over the top.

The Hollywood players really have a great time camping in their roles, and its great to see the performances that come out of Travolta, Pfeiffer, and Walken. Very humerous, and in the spirit of Water's ouevre. Still, the real standout in this version is the crop of young talent in the roles of the students. It's no wonder that Disney's High School Musical is such an overwhelming success, with talent in spades. Blonsky's fairy tale casting story is well documented and turns out to be a great call, but the real stars are Efron and Kelley, who seem to be destined for big success.

If there's anything Waters' can claim from his body of work, it's finding magic in small packages, and making the most of his ideas. His subversive films were done in his unimitable Baltimore bred style, with a lot of love for his characters, flaws and all. The new Hairspray polishes up the flaws, makes it sparkle and shine, yet loses a little heart and soul in all the glamour. Still, it's probably the most fun you can have in the theatre in a long time, and you'll certainly be singing a song or two on your way home.

Grade: B+

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

Directed by: Dennis Dugan
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi
Running Time: 1h 50min

A complete waste of time, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry probably didn't even seem funny at the pitch meeting, but got the green light based on the success of the lead actors, and the amazing supporting cast, who should all be sentenced to some sort of community service after giving us this atrocity.

Rarely can films be given demeanor status, but this pathetic "comedy" is a crime against humanity. Not only is it not in the least bit funny, it also manages to insult our intelligence and sensitivity with its ridiculous premise. Imagine, if you will, two firefighters (can't get any more butch than that) who pretend to be gay to receive an insurance policy. Then, to complicate matters, an exhibitionist insurance policy fraud investigator, played swimmingly by Biel, looks into the matter, managing to insult insurance policy investigators and exhibitionists everywhere. At least she looks good while doing it.

Sandler and James, on the other hand, looked pained as they go through the motions, letting sad dialogue fly from their lips, while their eyes scream "Save us". They seem uncomfortable spitting out homophobic jokes, and equally uncomfortable pretending to be gay. Which is fine, because the audience feels equally uncomfortable, wondering if this film wants to be a crass, hateful throwback to a less tolerant time, or a morality lesson on gay rights. Well, that lesson comes too late, after a deluge of homophobic jokes that we were supposed to laugh at (but didn't) at the beginning of the film but now we should feel ashamed that we did because gays are people too. It's as though it wants to have its homophobic cake and eat it too.

Which gets me to why this movie didn't deserve an F. In actuality, i can't honestly remember, having erased most of this film from my mind. However, i think the C+ was redeemed through a good dose of fat jokes, a section of the population that does not yet have advocate groups. In these moments, you do get a sense that Sandler and James could bring a bit of that Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, Spade and Farley magic to the film. Just not this film.

Grade: C+