Happy Gilmore 2

Happy Gilmore 2; Light on laughs, relying on nostalgic moments & golfer cameos to elicit a reaction. It seems designed to provide the Sandler family w/acting experience (they’re actually not bad) and give his pals some funny moments. The return of Shooter is wildly over the top, as it should be; C-

Y2K

Y2K; Straddles the line between nostalgic humour, horror and teen sex comedy, with mixed success. The trappings of a low budget make for some entertaining creative decisions, but also frustratingly limits and handcuffs the movie. A fun concept that makes a great trailer but less so a great film; C-

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

X-Men Origins: Wolverine; Dangerously strays into “so bad, it’s good” territory that used to be a hallmark of goofy comic book movies pre-Batman. The cast deserves better than this schlocky, hammy approach to what is one of the more compelling Marvel characters. C’mon! He’s more than his claws!; C-

Descendants: The Rise of Red

Descendants: The Rise of Red; The played out concept can’t get off the ground despite what appears to be a decent new crop of talented & likeable AKs & VKs. Even the brief return of China Anne McClain as Uma isn’t enough to raise this up to the middle pack of Disney Channel level entertainment; C-

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Amongst Thieves

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves; Imagine a LARPing community gaining full access to the visual effects suite and being allowed to craft any style of monster or creature of their choosing. The result is equally impressive as it is horrible. Same with the script; C-

White Men Can't Jump

White Men Can’t Jump; Harmless redo doesn’t reach the heights of the original, w/serviceable characters & a basic script offering up a valiant but clearly made for TV movie. Basketball is typical and Harlow can be funny but he has a long way to go to make acting a 2nd career; C-

The Great Beauty

The Great Beauty; Incomprehensible interludes propped up by stunning cinematography. The mere fact that people like this exist in the world is troublesome, but that doesn’t mean we want or need to look at them. A film like this seems solely to cater to film critics’ interests; C-

Summer of '42

Summer of ‘42; Film full of unlikeable characters who are never fully developed beyond annoying personality traits offers maybe one scene of laughs while the rest of it is cringe worthy. Who would want to reminisce about this film other than to serve some teenage boy fantasy; C-

Freaky

Freaky; The old body switching premise in a teen horror film starring Vince Vaughn can only coast on his hilarious embodiment of the opposite sex for so long before it gets bogged down in less clever/poorly executed clichés. Traileritis strikes, as all funny bits were seen; C-

Mulan

Mulan; Huge misfire. Deciding to drop the music & creatures yet failing to replace them w/any added fantasy, drama or humour is a huge head scratcher. Grand action scenes still seem underwhelming and the fighting moves of Mulan get repetitive in form and style. Disappointing; C-

Artemis Fowl

Artemis Fowl; Oddly omits best parts of book from the screenplay. Changes detract from what makes book a fun, engaging read. Offers less action and more imagery and is overall disappointing. Casting is pretty good despite the alterations. Not sure what they were going for; C-

Missing Link

Missing Link; Laika Studios’ first fail. Fails to tell an interesting story or offer us characters to care about (they’re all bland & unlikeable). Fails to even wow us with its normally groundbreaking stop motion animation. Seriously needed to be reconsidered in early stages; C-

Invisible Essence: The Little Prince

Invisible Essence: The Little Prince; A great idea that doesn’t quite deliver. Better off using the time to read the book again instead of watching this. Hearing the different people reading the text aloud is more enticing to watch than any attempts at insight; C-

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom; Actually forgot I saw this movie. That’s how memorable it is. No surprises. No characters to care for. No scenes that match the iconic moments of previous films. Embraces the horror nature of the series with none of the magic or suspense; C-

Jason Bourne

Jason Bourne; Save for the one excellent car chase scene, a rehash of jerky close ups and clichés makes this unnecessary sequel D.O.A.; C-

Home

Home; Feels like Rihanna vanity project with annoying Sheldon Cooper voicing Jar Jar Dobby mash up. Steve Martin movie would be better; C-

Penguins of Madagascar

Penguins of Madagascar; Painfully one note, predictable & overly busy. Not funny, instantly forgettable. More suited for preschool TV; C-

Maleficent

Maleficent; All about the look, but after the amazing score, costumes and art design, lacks any substance. Dull, pedestrian story arc; C-

Destiny Turns on the Radio

Directed by:  Jack Baran
Starring:  Dylan McDermott, Nancy Travis, Quentin Tarantino, James Belushi
Running Time:  1h 42min

Not your usual flick, this movie blends plot elements that are variations on a theme.  From the lovers torn apart to the robbery gone wrong to a mystical entity controlling everyone's fate.  With all these different ideas you'd think that the film would be different or unique in some way.  It isn't.  It isn't a bad movie, it's just that there isn't anything special.  It's just a mediocre film that cashes in on Tarantino's desire to show his mediocre acting ability.  Travis is sexy and could be used more effectively in a better film.  The whole thing is very anti-climatic.  The characters don't really go through any major development and the mystical part seems just that.  It's a mystery as to why it's in the movie at all.

Grade: C-

Foolish Wives

Directed by:  Erich von Stroheim
Starring:  Erich von Stoheim, Maud George, Mae Busch, Cesare Gravina
Running Time:  1h 47min

What a foolish idea to think that this movie deserved to be made in the silent era.  The conniving and seduction of the count seems ridiculous when he says very little.  This movie is a mish mash of jumbled scenes, very uninteresting throughout.  The conclusion is as plain as day right from the get go.  No one to care about, it doesn't matter who gets screwed and who wins.  It is unfortunate for a melodrama to have a hero and a villain that the audience is impartial to.  Quite a contrast to see the American early film as compared to the amazing, interesting and visually stunning European film of the same time.  One sees the true devastation of the WWs, seeing as we are now subject to U.S. film being the "trendsetter".

Grade:  C-